13. Let go to gain control

Dear Marlowe,

Most of what goes on in the world is beyond your control. You can attempt to influence outcomes but can seldom dictate them, and should never try to force people into doing what you want.

There will be times when this is very frustrating. We will be angry that people can’t see sense, do not share our vision, or are behaving in a way that upsets us. They will occupy our headspace as we try to figure out how to persuade them to change, and we will find ourselves reacting emotionally to their presence, words and deeds. 

What’s actually happening here is that in attempting to control them, we find that they are controlling us. The solution is to let go. However hard it is, just let go.

Accept that what other people think, say, or do is beyond your control and re-focus on your sphere of influence. Being able to de-couple in this way puts you in the driving seat of your own life.

Love,

Dad.
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Letters to Marlowe is a personal project to pass on valuable life advice to my son.

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